I came across this article and wanted to share it because I think at one time or another we could all use a pick me up! One of the points is one I’ve talked about as a monthly health tip – don’t compare yourself to others. I firmly believe everyone has something unique to contribute to the world.
5 Steps to Counter Negative Self Talk
By Aurora McCausland
There are plenty of outside forces that affect the way we view ourselves. Some can be good, but all too often, those influences make us feel insufficient, insecure, and alienated. Social media, for example, is an ever-present force, and it often turns negative despite our best efforts. It’s too easy to compare yourself to others and the best parts of their lives, since the best parts of their lives are the only parts they bother to post on social media.
The negative messages can get more and more pointed and heated, whether they’re flaming comments on your Youtube video, or constantly-undermining language from your mother-in-law. However, as bad as these voices can be, the worst thing is when your own internal voices start adopting that criticism. Here are some tips to help you identify and counter negative self-talk.
Stop comparing yourself to others
If you find yourself comparing yourself and your life to other people, then you’ll need to remove the avenues where it makes it easy to compare yourself to them. If you find yourself scrolling through Instagram and feeling bad because everyone else seems to have clean homes, then maybe you should stop following those individuals. It may seem harsh, but your mental health is important, and if you still feel bad, you can explain to your friends why you have to take a break from following them.
Sometimes, just removing those influences isn’t enough to keep yourself from feeling negative towards yourself. Because sometimes, it’s a deeper problem than just wishing your kitchen was as clean as someone you follow on social media. Being negative can be the root of mental illness, and letting those negative thoughts fester will only make the problem worse. Talking about the issues can help you feel better, as long as it’s done in a safe space. This could be something that you’ll want to talk to a licensed professional about. Certain therapeutic techniques, like dialectical behavior therapy, for example, help you to target problematic habits and behavior so that you can start having a healthier outlook.
There are other things you can do to improve your overall mental health. Some people experience a better wellbeing when they engage in activities such as meditation, yoga, and regular chiropractic visits. These practices are great because not only are they beneficial to your body and your overall physical health, but they carry mental health benefits that will change your life. One of the keys to countering your negative self talk is to eradicate the problem at it’s root. The root of these insecurities is a weak mental state, and by exercising your mind and cultivating a positive environment, you’ll find yourself thinking more positive thoughts and enjoying your life more fully.
If you’re not comfortable attending therapy, a great alternative is to engage in writing therapy. Writing therapy gives you a creative, and healthy, outlet to express yourself and your thoughts. There are great writing prompts and journaling programs that can help you make the most of your writing therapy practices. Many therapists actually recommend writing therapy as part of your regular therapy practices. Sometimes, the best way to understand your thoughts and the way that you feel is to talk through them. This can be through either talking to someone that your trust, or you can write them out.
Writing them out can sometimes be even more beneficial because some people find that they’re more comfortable writing about their innermost thoughts than they are talking about them. Your journal can’t judge you or make you feel uncomfortable by opening up, and that’s one of the most valuable things about writing therapy practices.
Surround yourself with positivity
You are what you manifest. If you’re constantly telling yourself that you’re messy, sloppy, ugly, or unsuccessful, you will become those things. If you tell yourself that you’re tidy, attractive, successful, and kind, then you’ll be those things. Your thoughts become actions, so make sure that you’re thinking good, positive things. It can be hard to just dispel your negative thoughts and replace them with positive thoughts, sadly it isn’t that simple.
Make sure that you are surrounded by positive people. If there are people in your life that are negative, then maybe consider spending less of your time with them, and seek out friendships and colleagues that are positive and make you feel good about yourself. Fill your home with beautiful things that make you feel peaceful, and listen to music that is uplifting and wholesome. Surrounding yourself with beautiful nature can be another great way to surround yourself with positivity. It’s easier to think wonderful, positive thoughts, when you’re in a beautiful atmosphere that promotes peaceful thoughts and feelings.
You don’t have to live with uncomfortable and negative feelings. There are ways to combat those feelings and start feeling comfortable with yourself and your life again. There are avenues to seek help or find the help yourself, you just have to consciously make an effort to be positive and start loving yourself and your life.